Chuckles and the Chocolate Factory

"Now Chuckles, the President is coming to town. He likes chocolate. And he likes unique stuff. So take this chocolate gun to the speech to give to him. Now he's a busy man so it's best not to take a lot of his time so just run right up to him with it in your hand."

Do It Like the Israelis

If we did it like the Israelis, airport security would be done professionally. And therein lies the problem. The TSA personnel that do security now would have to rise to the level of professionalism and really do the job or be fired. And then they'd be back to fucking up my order at McDonald's.

December/January BlogMeet

I think this is the Official December BlogMeet. In January. Don't ask. Just be there! And don't forgot to RSVP so RobertaX can reserve the proper size table. Click HERE and leave your response in the comments.

WWN Archived At Google Books

There is a God in Heaven!

Weekly World News Archives

h/t Boing Boing

Merry Christmas!

Venison for Xmas dinner here at the Holmes house and all sorts of presents. Next year though. . . it's doubtful Santa's gonna come. Sorry.

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday Tunes

"A game show love connection." Makes me smile.

Quote Of The Day

Uncle Obama has gotten ahold of your credit card. And he’s amassing charges on it that – you – not he – are liable for. You can call the fraud line, you can call the police, you can call any politician or government agency, and they will all tell you the same thing. Shut up and pay up.

---Nancy Morgan at Flopping Aces

Today's WTF Moment

Drunk 4-Year-Old Steals Christmas Presents

The news report says, "It's a strange story, but also a sad one."

The child, Hayden Wright, was found around 1:45 am Tuesday, wandering the streets of his neighborhood. In a police reports, officers said he was wearing a little girl's dress and drinking a beer.

The one word that comes to my mind is 'precocious.'

In Today's Email

I received this from my sister-in-law this morning:

You heard the rumors on all the gossip shows...





You've read about these two publicity seekers in the news...





You've heard about them on TV...





You've heard speculation about how they were somehow able to deceive so many inside the system, and breach known protocols...





Their bravado and arrogance is mind-boggling.





Their feat of connivance is legendary...





Now, at last....as a result of exhaustive investigation...





We can FINALLY show you an authentic photo of...













The couple who sneaked into the White House... without any credentials!!

December Pre-BlogMeet BlogMeet

Move along. More discussion/details at Roberta X's.

Sunday Tunes

h/t Jonathan at The Volokh Conspiracy

Priceless

Obama's Peformance in Norway

My thoughts on the report:

Obama in Oslo Insults Norwegian King, Journalists and Orphans

What do you expect from a president who is coming to be seen as an Affirmative Action hire?

Son of Today's WTF Moment

More apple juice!

Helping Students

One of my former students is a Facebook "friend." He has an assignment in his Arabic class requiring him to produce a five minute video in which he is to talk about himself. He has written:

. . .found out that his webcam will make him look like a werewolf. This arabic video is going to be interesting.

I suggested:

Say, "Murah wahidah fi-l shahar ana al-rajul al-dha'ib." (Trans: Once a month I am a man-wolf.) Then play f**king Werewolves of London for the rest of the time while you dance around in your boxers on the web cam. It'll be a hit. Trust me.

I feel good about myself. Always helping.

Today's WTF Moment

I remember this episode.



h/t Topless Robot

Me and the AARP, Part Deux

Last month I wrote about how I wrote [E-mail] to the AARP asking to be removed from their membership rolls due to their support of the House's Health Care Bill. Yesterday their damn magazine showed up. So I CALLED to cancel my membership.

It should be noted that when you call their membership line at 1-888-OUR-AARP you now hear, as your first option, "If you are calling about Health Care Reform, please press or say 'One' now." I did and listened to their message about how their volunteer Board of Directors, some of whom are doctors and nurses, studied and worked and studied and decided that the House's Health Care Bill is the best option we have. After hearing this, I pressed '0' and talked to a nice young woman who at my request cancelled my membership and noted that I did so because of the AARP's support of the House's Health Care Bill.

I like what John Angove says in the Letters to the Editor section of the Colt's Newsletter:

AARP, for $16, sells me a membership, so I can save money on hotels and stuff. Then the organization tells the president it represents my political views, including my opinion on health care. Next, it supports the Senate's plan to strip $400 billion from Medicare. And in a final act of social conscience, AARP tells me it will sell me medical gap insurance to offset the aforementioned $400 billion reduction.

Is this why AARP makes twice as much from selling insurance as it does from membership revenue?

Today's WTF Moment

Hell, everyone else seems to blog about cooking. But I wanna blog about Star Trek, too. I've got a solution.



h/t Topless Robot

Newsworthy?

The Colts Are Gods News Sheet again shows how shameless it is in supporting a cause. I offer:

Veterans push climate change bill
By Erika D. Smith
Posted: December 2, 2009

Bringing a new face to the debate over climate change, a half dozen military veterans spoke today to a small group -- mostly of the converted -- about the threat that a warming Earth and an ongoing dependence on foreign oil poses to national security

We get more people than that at our BlogMeets! Jesus F-ing Christ. Can they be any more transparent than this?

Erika, come to our next BlogMeet and report on what WE think.

Today's WTF Moment

Bob Dylan sings "Must be Santa."