Sunday, January 17, 2010

Imperialist United States

Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez on Sunday accused the United States of using the earthquake in Haiti as a pretext to occupy the devastated Caribbean country and offered to send fuel from his OPEC nation.

Yeah, Hugo. We just love to occupy shitholes like Haiti. We don't have enough of them here in the USA so we have to go out and get more.

Hugo, if we were really Imperialists we'd go after places a lot nicer. Myself, I like the idea of annexing Canada. Except for Quebec. We'll give that to the French with the stipulation that they have to host the UN from now on.


Tam said...

Remember: In the liberal mind, America became rich and powerful by invading poor countries that had nothing and stealing it from them.

Flight-ER-Doc said...

Having spent far too much time in Kanukistan (and stealing the very best product they had, my wife) I'd be happy to welcome to the union the States of Yukon, Alberta, Manitoba, and maybe even New Brunswick, British Columbia (we'd have to rename it though) and Northern Territories/Nunavit as provisional territories until they get their heads screwed on straight. Quebec, Nova Scotia, Labrador and Newfoundland are on their own.

I like the idea of the UN moving to Quebec, though: Quebec City would be a good place for it.

Crucis said...

Nah, I'd rather get the UN Hqs completely out of the Hemishere. Ship it off to Paris and let the French deal with all the corruption, trash and unpaid traffic tickets.

For the French, it'd be business as usual.

2yellowdogs said...

Yeah, we already have Detroit. Who needs Haiti? It's almost redundant.

I know! Let's move UN headquarters to Port au Prince. It could be the cornerstone of the Haitian rebuilding effort. Let all of those tinhorn dictators who hate us anyway park for free and rack up their expense accounts in a poor, opressed country. It'll ultimately mean fewer UN diplomats which can only be a good thing.

George said...

Well ... I won't get into an argument about who's going to annex what. I would point out that Chavez only said he'd consider sending fuel oil ... not that he's actually sent a tanker or two of refined petrochemical products.

Still ... getting rid of Quebec is terribly attractive. And ... Flight-ER-Doc missed my home province of Ontario ... probably because we're big enough to be a country on our own. That's it. Give Quebec to France and Ontario would gain some sea coast. Terrific!


Joanna said...

Someone pleeeeeeeeeease take Montreal. Then maybe I can actually get some work done.

Ed Foster said...

FlightERDoc, How about Saskatchewan? And Ontario west of the lake? Not much north of it, and you'd better like country n' western, as there's only one station from Nipigon to Thunder Bay.

But I did some surveying around Suomi (Whitefish Lake) years ago, and I liked the people. If we partition the place though, we have to keep all the O.P.P. in the eastern part.

Ed Foster

joated said...

Flight-ER-Doc, You also forgot little Prince Edward Island. Don't worry, almost everyone does. Yet, it is a province all by its little old self. Home of Anne of Green Gables fame. (And not much else.) Might fit right in with the Thousand Islands, though.

Pointman said...

Those who can, do. Those who can't accuse those who can of evil motives.

Though I must say I'm not sold on this "Imperialism is evil" bit. Granted it has its flaws but there are many a nation that would be worse off that Haiti today were it not for Imperialists building their infrastructure and teaching them how to maintain it.