Morning Traffic Observation

What is it with Indianapolis drivers? They slow down for green lights and speed up for yellow.

Hint: You've got it backwards, Fuckwits!

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn! S. T. Joshi Coming to Indy!

Received word of the following yesterday.

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S. T. Joshi
Biographer and editor of H. P. Lovecraft and scholar of supernatural fiction
6-7 October 2009

Public Conversation with S. T. Joshi
Tuesday 6 October 2009
6:00 PM-8:40 PM
IUPUI, Campus Center (CE) 248
420 University Boulevard, Indianapolis, IN 46202

S. T. Joshi will discuss and answer questions about his work as biographer of H. P. Lovecraft and editor of supernatural fiction. This event is free and open to the public.

Poe, Lovecraft, and the Revolution in Supernatural Fiction
Wednesday 7 October 2009
Reception: 7:00 PM
Lecture: 7:30 PM-9:00 PM
Lilly Auditorium
On lower level of IUPUI University Library
755 W Michigan St., Indianapolis, IN 46202

The lecture by S. T. Joshi will discuss the revolutionary changes introduced into the genre of horror fiction by prominent American writers, Edgar Allan Poe and H. P. Lovecraft. Joshi will draw on research for his soon-to-published two-volume comprehensive history of supernatural and horror fiction (Ohio U. Press), which begins with Gilgamesh and proceeds through the present. This historical background will provide the context for examining American innovations in the horror tale. This event is free and open to the public.

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S. T. Joshi is the well-known biographer and editor of H. P. Lovecraft and an important editor and scholar of supernatural and horror fiction. He is the author of over 25 books, including scholarly studies of supernatural fiction, annotated bibliographies, and works of cultural criticism. He has edited over 40 books of tales and essays including works by H. L. Mencken, Ambrose Bierce, Arthur Machen, Algernon Blackwood, Lord Dunsany, and several other writers. He has edited or co-edited over 30 books of writings by H. P. Lovecraft

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TSA and Poop Chute Shenanigans

Though I find his politics muddled (to say the least) I think Cory Doctorow does us a service with this warning:

Now that a terrorist has tried unsuccessfully to blow up a Saudi prince with a bomb shoved up his ass, the TSA is obliged to perform rectal exams on every flier for the rest of time. After all, once a jihadi failed to blow up a plane with his shoe, we all needed to start taking our shoes off. Then some knuckleheads believed they could blow up a plane with energy beverages and hair gel, so now we have to limit ourselves to 100ml of all liquids and gels, unless they're for babies or are prescription (because no mass-murderer would be so evil as to forge a doctor's note, which, as every junkie knows, cannot possibly be forged).

Now we found someone who was made to believe he could kill people with an asshole bomb, and so it follows that the TSA will have to ban -- or at least inspect -- our assholes.

This is going to be interesting. Will the Fourth Ammendment continue to be ignored as we continue to be players in the daily production of Security Theatre at our airports?

Second September 2009 BlogMeet Report

Brigid has the report!

NatGeo is Warning Us!

Tonight the National Geographic Channel is going to show us one of the greatest dangers we face today: American Nazis. Extremist anti-Semitic white racists.

I wonder if the producers are creating a series of images that we're supposed to superimpose on, oh, say, anyone who doesn't like the policies of the current President?

I'm waiting for NatGeo to do "Inside ACORN." It'll probably show immediately after the nature study of the winged monkeys that live in my butt.

The Phone

I try to avoid blogging about work but this topic necessarily touches on it.

Maybe it's because I see the phone as a tool and not a source of entertainment. Maybe it's because as a child whenever the phone rang and my father was at home he would say "Damn phone!" Whatever the case may be I do not like the phone and at times I hate the phone. And I wonder why people walk around and drive around with the damn phone stuck to their ear. Maybe they're afraid of being alone with themselves and need to be in continuous touch with someone else. I LIKE being alone with no one yammering at me.

I have a cell phone. I made the mistake giving my cell phone number out to some of my coworkers assuming that they would only call me in case of an emergency. But no, they call me at their convenience, not mine. They call me for their benefit, not mine. I'm half tempted to announce that my phone will no longer be accessible to them and if they call I will not answer regardless of how important the call might be to them.

But upon reflection I realize that the majority of these annoying calls come from one person at work. She will call instead of sending e-mail. She will call instead of coming to my office. She will call at her convenience and for her benefit. And beyond that what is even more annoying is that she will call and convey whatever message she deems important and then use the opportunity to think out loud over the phone. When I call I normally convey the message, give the person the opportunity to answer, and then suggest they E-mail me if there are any questions.

The other day I saw this person as I was going to lunch, spoke of a couple small work-related items and informed her that I was going to eat and would be back within an hour. Just as I sat down to eat my cell phone rang. I couldn't help myself and blurted out, "Who the FUCK is calling me during lunch?" Unfortunately I was in the hospital cafeteria. I received more than a few dirty looks. I looked at the display on my cell phone and saw it was her. I did not answer.

I suppose the more appropriate solution to this particular problem is to add this person to the Shermlock No Answer List.

Street Fightin' Man!

Yep. All those Town Hall/Tea Party protesters are tearin' up Pittsburgh as we speak. Nancy Pelosi predicted it. You should see the. . . .what? It's left-wing anarchists? Oh, nevermind. Move along. Nothing to see here.

September 2009 BlogMeet, Part Deux

Roberta X has the details. I can taste the food already!

Quote of the Day

The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to live under the laws they've passed.

-- Email message from a friend.

BlogMeet Report: Company good, food bland

While I'm waiting for Shermlock Jr. to upload pictures from yesterday's BlogMeet I did want to do a quick post to say a good time was had by all (see Roberta X's preliminary report) but as Joanna was unable to attend, my "Torture makes the meal." experiment will have to wait until next week. My Shepard's Pie was a bit bland and might well have been improved by a right cross or two.

Pain as MSG? A BlogMeet Thought.

It seems to be a common practice among despots to have their prisoners tortured while they're feasting (the despots that is). Vlad Tepes (the historical Dracula) and the Mogul Emperor Jahangir are two examples of this behavior. For some time now I've wondered why they did this. Were they so busy that they could find little time during the day and thus had to combine both eating and torture? Or did the act of torture that is the pain of the tortured add flavor to the food? I may explore this today when I attend the Indy BlogMeet. I'll take a bite of my food and note its flavor. Then I'll ask someone like Joanna to punch someone. Then I'll take another bite of my food and see if it tastes better. I'll post the results here.

A blogging experiment

A few months ago one of my colleagues informed me that he have begun using Dragon NaturallySpeaking, a voice recognition/dictation program the computer for those of you that may not be familiar with the name. He'd said it increased his productivity. This started me thinking about using Dragon NaturallySpeaking as a blogging tool as it can get tiresome typing out my thoughts and statements rather than being able to speak them in a natural voice. So the other day I found a reasonably priced copy of the program on eBay, ordered it, and it arrived today. After about a half hour of training the program appears to be functioning and this post has been done using Dragon NaturallySpeaking. Let's see if it increases my productivity.

September 2009 BlogMeet

h/t Old Grouch

Targets for the Apocalypse

Oh yeah! Just in time.

Zombie Targets

h/t Boing Boing

It's Begun.

Shit. This was just posted.

Born Racist?

Question for the class: Why is the baby Caucasian?

Sunday Tunes

I'm closer to having the time and energy to write. In the meantime, here's the best cover yet of "Tainted Love":