The
Support The Fat Cats Daily again makes a special effort to bring back the Assault Weapons Ban. It starts out like a normal article (well, normal for the Star is saying something glowing about the Lucre Oil Stadium):
7-year-old boy shot in leg on WestsideBut then the reporter uses his 133t journalistic skills to tell us that:
Boy was getting into truck when he was hit by assault-type rifle
Ahh, I think I see! Someone threw an AK or AR at the kid? No,
A 7-year-old boy was shot in the leg with an assault-type rifle Monday night on the city's Westside, Indianapolis metropolitan police reported. . . .More than 10 shots were fired, [IMPD Spokesman] Thompson said, and one shot hit the boy in the left leg. The bullet passed through the left leg and lodged in his right leg, Thompson said.
Now I see! Evil rifle hurts innocent child. We need to outlaw those eeevvvvviiiilllll assault rifles and then the criminals will say, "Hey, it's against the law to have an AR like mine! I'll never ever even think about using it from now on. I'll even turn it into the police and come to Jesus!"
I feel all warm inside now.