Well now the DHS is warning us about thawing our turkeys before we deep fry them:
DHS issues Turkey fryer warning
Ok. Enough is enough. If the fucking Department of Homeland Security has the time and resources to instruct us on how to cook our turkeys, it's time to make deep and significant cuts to their funding. Butterball can warn us without using our tax dollars and feeling us up when we want to travel to see grandma at Thanksgiving.